ERAP JOKES PART 5

 
TULA NG MASA  Sabi ng iba Erap is the guy. Pero dito sa amin, hindi yata bagay. Dapat sa presidente, medyo intelihente. Para hindi sunud-sunuran sa mga tutang katabi.  Itong si Erap, hindi na natuto. Kaliwa't kanan puro panluloko. Ibinalik si Imelda at nilakad na walang kaso. Para nga naman makuha ang kanyang sosyo.  Ang kanyang mga barkada, sina Mario at Lucio, Mga angkan ni Imelda, pati na si Eduardo. Ang kanang kamay na si dambuhalang Ronaldo, Si Lucio Tan, Dante Tan, pati si Manero.  Wala pang dalawang taon ay heto na sila. Mga diyaryong kritiko pilit pinasasara. Manila Times, Inquirer at sinong susunod pa, Para bukas makalawa ay wala ng kokontra.  Sabi ni Erap, walang kamag-anak, walang kaibigan... Kayong mga loko hwag akong subukan, Ako ang presidente na di nagkakamali Lahat ng gusto ko, sinusunod parang hari.  Unang order nya, ilibing si Makoy.. Katabi ng mga bayaning gustong tumaghoy. Nag-alsa ang mga barokan at tribung pinoy... Umatras ang hari at mga alaga nyang baboy.  To be continued .....   Update Date January 5, 2001  Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX. 
TULA NG MASA - continuation  Si Erap namigay ng mga mamahaling sasakyan Sa mga kamag-anak, kabinete at kaibigan. Sa halip na gumawa ng mas mabuting paraan, Upang ang makinabang, ang mga mamayan.  Pangalawang order nya, baguhin daw ang konstitusyon.. At ang dagdag pa nya laos na raw yon. Dapat daw ay gawing pang-globalisasyon.. Nang ang mga dummy ni Imelda ariin ang buong nasyon.  Habang ang tribung pinoy ay nag-kakagulo Mga tuta ni Erap ay wiling-wili dito. Saan ka nga naman nakakita ng ganito, Presidenteng lasingero, babaero, at uto-uto.  Habang si Erap ay kanilang ginogoyo, Kabi-kabilang raket ng mga tarantado! Ni-rig ang kontrata ng fire trucks, posas at libro, Pati ang stock market muntik ng mag-sarado.  Erap, hindi lahat ng Pilipino ay hangal at gago. Kami sumusubaybay at naghihintay sa 'yo. Ngayon kung ang iyong direksyon ang hindi mo mabago, Kami ay uling lalabas upang ipa-alala sa iyo.  Erap, sa pagsisinungaling walang tatalo sa 'yo. Pati si Kapitan Kidlat binabanggit mo, Sa uulitin pag ngalan ko'y binanggit mo Sa pagitan ng yong dalawang hita ako'y tatama sa yo!  .....KapitanKidlat   Update Date January 7, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
GOOD AND BAD Good news: With the appointment of Edgardo Angara as executive  secretary, Joseph Estrada will next step down as President.  Bad news: He will be replaced by Jose Velarde.  Update Date January 8, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.  Noong bata pa si erap... ang palayaw niya ay TA NG...   Isang araw, hinahanap si TA NG ng ina niya...  Ina: TA NG, nasaan ka na? Kaibigan ni TA NG: Hoy TA NG ina mo hinahanap ka... Erap: Bakit mo ako minumura, ga go ka ha...  at nag away ang dalawang magkaibigan...  THE END...   Update Date January 9, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.   
ISANG PLATITONG MANI  Dumalaw si erap sa bahay ng isang mahirap at matandang lola. Erap: Oh masarap ba ang tsokolateng binigay ko sa inyo.  Matanda: Opo. Salamat po. Nakita ni erap ang isang platitong mani sa lamesa at kinain agad  habang nakaharap sa kamera para ipakitang kinakain nya ang pagkain ng mahirap. Erap: Naku naubos ko ang mani, pasensya na ho kayo lola Lola: Naku, okay lang ho prisidinti, nasipsip ka naman na yung tsokolate dyan. Erap: Aba, okay naman pala eh.     Update Date January 11, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.     Similarities between Erap and Brother Mike: 1. Both love the poor. 2. Both collect money from the poor. 3. Both are now billionaires courtesy of the poor   Update Date January 15, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.    
ATONG'S RELATIVE  Erap to the press: I just learned that Atong Ang  has a relative in the Senate.  Press: Really? Who is it?  Erap: Her first name in Chinese is ‘‘Bu.’’   Update Date January 18, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.   
 PLEA FOR ERAP   pls lang patawarin nyo na si erap tulad na pagpapatawad  ninyo ke prisidinti marcos at kanyang family.  Magtulungan tayong itayo ang negosyo ni erap para sa mahirap.  Dahil marami ang umaasa sa lintik na huweteng na yan.  Pls lang okay. Sige, kakantahan  ko kayo...dahil sa yo...    
ERAP'S PRAYER  Gambling father  who art in jueteng hakot be thy name thy kickback come thy wealth be done, in Wack-Wack as it is in San Juan.  Give me this day My daily bribe And conceal all my trespasses As you And if I am led into temptation Deliver me from conviction  For mine is the country, its power, and its money forever and ever  ahem.  Response:  Aba Ginoong Estrada Napupuno ka ng kwarta Ang panginoon ng jueteng ay sumasaiyo Bukod kang pinagpala sa lahat ng bobo At pinagpala ka naman ng kay raming kulasisi mo.   Update Date January 19, 2001  Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX. 
Erap's Mi ultimo Adios  Mi parte de jueteng wala na. Mis compadres y lords nabuking na. Los mansiones de mis queridas ini-imbistiga Mis amigos de la Camara el ultimo pagasa.   Update Date January 22, 2001  Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX.  HULING PAALAM Ni Joseph "Jose Velarde" Estrada (Pasintabi kay Dr. Jose Rizal)  Adios bayang aking pinagnakawan, Paalam bayang binusabos ng aking mga kaibigan. Mutyang dinusta't hinalay ni Atong Ang. Aalis akong batbat ng puna't kahihiyang Isinabit ni Chavit, alang kwentang tsokaran!  Sa malawak na lansangan mula Edsa't Mendiola, Sambayanang galit ay nag-aalsa na, Sumisigaw silang ako'y mag-resign na At kung magmamaugas ako'y sisipain nila Sa kangkungan pupuluting tila mabahong basura.  Akoy namamaalam upang dilira ay mapawi, Sa bayang ito na sobra nang sawi. Baka sakaling ekonomya'y makabawi Kapag nawala na mga barkada't kroni, At mga kalaguyong kagaya ni Laarni.  Simula't sapul akoy may simpleng pangarap Kuwarta't babae, mga mansion ako'y makakalap Kaya naman lubos-lubos aking pagsisikap. Walang inatupag kundi ang pangongotong, Sa huweteng at two-ball, Abu Sayaff at kuratong.  Kaya nang nahalal na maging pangulo, Tinipon ang barkada, kakosa't kalaguyo Tuwing hatinggabi sa pag-uuntugang baso Tampok sa usapan paano mapagkwartahan Buwis sa tabako, negosyo at pasugalan.  Ngunit lintik ka Chavit, bakit mo ako isinabit-? Himutok ng dibdib lalong naging masakit Nang nabistong si Atong pala ay nangupit. Programa ko sa pabahay tuloy ay nabisto Di sa mahihirap, kundi sa mga kabit ko.  Pa-impeach-impeach pa kayo, 'nong akala n'yo? Sa senado kaya kayo ay mananalo? Sa impeachment trial di kayo nakasisiguro Gaano man kabigat ng saksi ng prosekyusyon Alang kwenta lahat pagdating ng resolusyon.  Labing-isang senador nasa aking panig! Kung gusto'y pangalanan ko pa aking mga kabig: Si John at Tessie na lisa ang bibig, Tig-sangmilyong balato, ayos na ang buto-buto Alang kaduda-duda kung kangino sila boboto.  Naririyan si Miriam, aking pambato, Hindi umuurong kahit na kangino, ' Huwag lang sindakin ng biglaang demo. Si Manong Johnny Enrile at bataang Honasan Mga kakamping lagi kong maaasahan.  Si Niki Coseteng na umalis kunwari, Tulad ni Tatad na sa partido koy bumatsi Ngunit yan ay bahagi lamang ng panlalansi Sina Kit at Niki tiyak sa akin papanig Sa katotohanan ay hindi sila makikinig.  Kay Tito Soto ay tiyak-tiyak na ako, Kay Ka Blas ay hindi rin ako kabado, Kay Ramon Revilla, itaga n'yo na sa bato. Si Jawo ang dapat na bantayan ng kalaban. Kapag nag-three point shot, tapos na ang laban.  Yang impeachment ay para ring sugalan, Numero lamang ang pinaglalabanan. At sa numero't sugal kami ay namber wan, Tiyak na tiyak ako sa aking labing-isa, Kahit na anupamang gawing balasa.  Ngunit ang aking lubos na ikinakaba Ay ang lansangang dumadamba. Protesta ng sambayanan patuloy na rumaragasa Sigaw ng mamamayan dapat ay mag-resign na, Patatalsikin kapag di kusang bumaba.  Nasaan na kayo mga dati kong kasangga? Ano't iniwan akong nagdurusa? Atong Ang, nasaan ka hayop ka? Pareng FPJ, parang awa mo na, Saklolo Danding, Tan, Maceda, Imelda at iba pa.  Kaya bago abutan ng bayang nagngangalit Baka sakaling pupuwede pang makapuslit. Paalam masang aking pinagtaksilan, Paalam sa bayang pinangakuan ko ng kasaganaan, Bakit kasi kayo naniwala sa aking islogan?  Paalam na rin sa iyo Loi, aking namber wan Alam ko namang tiyak na ako'y iyong iiwan. Jinggoy, Jude, JV, mga anak sa loob at labas, magpaalam na rin kayo. mga kroni, kakosa, kainuman, kasugalan, kalaguyo Pare-pareho na tayong pupulutin sa kangkungan!   Update Date January 23, 2001  Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX. 
ERAP TIDBITS  Bakit daw malaki ang utang ng na loob ni Miriam Santiago kay Erap? Kasi, nangako si Erap na tutulungan si Miriam na hanapin sina Crispin at Basilio.  Umamin na raw si Erap na siya si Jose Velarde... pero hindi naman daw siya si Joseph Estrada...   Watch for the life story of Erap that will surpass the Metro Manila Film Festival Hit "Tanging Yaman" at the box office.  The film is entitled "Tanginang Yaman."  FPJ:  Erap, mukhang mako-convict ka sa impeachment trial Erap:  Di bale, trial pa lang yan, di pa naman final.    Update Date January 30, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.  THINGS I LEARN FROM THE IMPEACHMENT 
MEANING OF IMPEACHMENT  I - impeach M - my P - pareng E - erap A - and C - company H - hudlom M - magnanakaw E - everything N - no T - thing   
LEGAL TERMS    1. DUCES TECUM - Documentary Evidence 2. AD TESTIFICANDUM - Witness as summoned 3. FACTUM PROBANDUM - Proven Fact 4. IMFACTA SANITARIUM - Miriam Santiago     Update Date January 31, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
PUZZLE  sabi ni erap kay loi, honey tignan mo yung puzzle na binuo ko ang ganda  ano? sabi naman ni loi ang bagal mo namang binuo yan, umabot ka nang 6  months. mabilis na nga yun eh,tignan mo itong kahon nakasulat 3 to 6  years, oh di ba ,di ang bilis ko.. (3 to 6 years old ang gagamit erap)     
M & M   galing ng states si mayor lim at may pasalubong para kay erap m&m peanut. after 1 week sabi ni mayor masarap ba yung pasalubong ko erap sabi naman  ni erap oo masarap kaso umitim ang kuko ko sa kababalat..     Update Date February 1, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
THE EXECUTIVE SECRETARY  Renato de Villa’s days as executive secretary are numbered.   President Macapagal has decided to abolish the position.   ‘‘I don’t need a Little President,’’ she said. ‘‘That’s me.’’ 
SHOWBIZ  Who are today’s top show-biz stars? Nora Aunor—Superstar Vilma Santos—Star for All Seasons Sharon Cuneta—Megastar Maricel Soriano—Diamond Star Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo—Twinkle, twinkle little star.   Update Date February 5, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
TOO MANY  A joke, delivered by Mr. Estrada at a dinner for the APEC Leaders:   US President Clinton approaches Mr. Estrada during the summit to confide that he  has a problem.   ''I brought 50 security people with me and I don't know which of them is an assassin,''  Clinton says.   Overhearing Clinton's dilemma, Chinese President Jiang Zemin joins the conversation.   ''I have the same problem,'' Jiang says. ''I have 60 security people with me and  I don't know which of them is a spy.''   Mr. Estrada is unimpressed. ''I think my problem is more serious,'' he says. ''I have  100 economists with me and I don't know which of them is right.''     Update Date February 6, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
MADE IN THE PHILIPPINES   This incident happened long before Estrada was thrown out of office.    President Clinton called President Estrada of the Philippines with an emergency:  "Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried.  "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a national disaster!"   "Bill, the Filipino people would be happy to do anything within their power to  help you," replied Estrada.   "I do need your help," said Bill. "Could you possibly send 100,000,000 condoms  ASAP to tide us over?"   "Why certainly! I'll get right on it!" said Estrada.   "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Bill.   "Yes?" said Estrada.   Showing off, Bill said,"Could the condoms be red, white and blue in color and  at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?"   "No problem," replied Estrada, with that, Estrada hung up and called the owner  of Philippine Prophilactic.   "I need a favor, you've got to make 100,000,000 condoms right away and send them  to the White House."   "Consider it done Mr. President," said the owner of Philippine Prophilactics.   "Great! Now listen, they have to be red, white and blue in color, 10" long and  4" wide."   "Easily done. Anything else?"   "Yeah," said Estrada, "on each one, print 'MADE IN THE PHILIPPINES, SIZE- SMALL' ."     Update Date February 9, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
ANOTHER GLORIA JOKE  When she first stepped into Malacañang Palace, President Macapagal recalled her  childhood days there when her father, Diosdado Macapagal, was the President.  "I grew up here," she said.  "That’s not true," quipped an old member of the Malacañang household staff.  "She never grew up."    Update Date February 12, 2001  Submitted by gg522 of Fort Worth, TX. 
ERAP'S RESIGNATION lETTER  Erap's Resignation Letter (J)  Repablic of The phillipines Oficce of the President  January 20, 2001  Dear Pilipinos,  I was very very sadenned by the fuct that some people were pointing accusations to me. As par as i know, my consience is clear, all of thier accusations are very wrong. I have no direck involvement on jueteng, i never violating any constitution lawses and i never corrupted the goverment. All of my wealth came from my gambling winnings, the boracay mansion was a gift to me by Lucio  Tan, sabi ko babayaran ko na lang pag nag-remit na ang bingo2 ball.Kaso ayaw naman ni Singson, tanginang Luis yan, sinabit pa ako. Eh may parte din naman sya eh.  Okay, okay i have many lots of girls around in me, well what can  i do?  Loi is not beutyfull isnt right?  It was indeed very alarming for my family because they think  what will happened to them if i was resign.  Saan na ako kukuha ng pang-suporta sa mga anak ko ngayon?  Paano na si Jude?hindi pa nga sya  natatapos sa sex transplant nya, pinababawi ko nga ang binigay nyang Starex  van kay Mickey Ferriols para pambile ng mga gamot nya. Lintik na Loi to,  pilit na nagpapaganda mukha pa rin naman tuta.Buti pa si Laarni nasa  Singapore na sya. Samantalang ako hangga ngayon wala pa ring Passport  papuntang Singapore, pang-USA lang kasi yung binigay nila sa akin, wala  kasi akong colored 1x1 na black and white ang background, meron ba nun?   Colored tapos black and white ang background, gods must be crazzy !  Paano na rin si Jinggoy? hindi na sya makakapambabae nyan,  pangit pa naman sya, wala ng papatol sa kanya dahil maaubos na yung  perang binigay sa kanya ni Singson.  Ayaw ko sanang mag-resign dahil sa EDSA people power na yan,  nung 1986 hindi naman ako nag-resign ah.  Sabi kasi ni pareng ED Angara,  okay lang na hindi muna ako mag-resign kasi di pa sya sumusweldo sa kin,  wala pa kasi syang 1 month tapos, mawawalan na sya ng trabaho.  Pinabubuksan ko na nga sana yung second envelope, para wala ng problema kaso huli na daw.  Ito kasing si Tessie, wala naman syang alam kung ano ang laman ng envelope na yun, sumayaw-sayaw pa sya, ganun din ang steps nya pag nagbo-ballroom kami. Basta ang alam ko ang laman nun, picture ni  John Osmena yun na naka-bikini, nung sumali sya sa Ms. Gay Cebu, tsaka picture  din nina Tessie Oreta at Nikki Coseteng na nakikipag-sex kasama si Jay Manalo noong shower party ni Jackie.  Ang mga grades ko sa Ateneo, na hiningi ng PCIBank noong nag-open ako ng account, kaya ang ginamit kong pangalan Jose Velarde na lang, at syanga pala, kasama din doon yung tinatago kong MENTAL records ni Miriam,  tinatago ko kasi alam ni Cory na sira-ulo si Miriam.  Kundi ba naman siya sira-ulo papanig ba sakin yun.  Pero may pag-asa pa ako...si Ping Lacson, kahit kunwari bumligtad yun, hindi pa rin sya makakatakas sa akin, subukan lang nya.Ibubulgar ko yong pinag-hatian naming pera na nakuah nya sa KURATONG-BALELENG.  So I resign as the president of this republic of the pihillipines.This is for the country.  Bahala na kung mabubuhay pa kami.  Paalam sa aking mga kaibigan na naging kaaway: Singson ! sabay tayong makukulong, Jaworski ! hindi ka naman marunong mag-basketball talaga, idol pa naman kita pero sabi ng misis mo hanggang dribol ka lang daw di ka raw marunong mag-shoot.  Orly Mercado ! bahala ka sa buhay mo ! duwag ka naman e, ayaw mo  ngang magpunta sa Mindanao para kunin yung parte ko sa ransom money!  Afredo Lim! di na kita panonoorin sa KATAPAT, bulol ka naman e, ibubulgar ko na hindi naman puti ang buhok mo.. kundi balakubak!  Nora Aunor ! tarantadong tyanak ka! kundi ko pa alam. type mo lang si Mikey Arroyo kaya ka sumali sa EDSA.  Bong Revilla ! totoy gwapo ah..pwe! ang laki naman ng tyan mo! ibubulgar ko kay Lani Mercado.. may anak ka kay Gretchen Barreto! At ikaw ang tunay na ama ni ARA MINA.  Paalam...  Kay Josephine.. anak din naman kita.. kaya lang di ko kilala nanay mo.  Kay Cardinal Sin...mabitay ka na sana!  Kay Cory....type mo lang si Raul Roco kasi kamukha sya ni NINOY.  Kay Annabel Rama... ang sarap pala ni Ruffa...lasang hollywood talaga.  PS: pareng ATONG, magkita na lang tayo sa casino ni pareng lucio  erap11: more Impeachment Text Jokes   Update Date February 12, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
NEW BANK ACCOUNTS  Two more bank accounts were discovered at Citibank.  Jinggoy's under the name of Jose Velarde Jr and another  owned by Jude under the name of JOSIE Velarde.   Update Date February 21, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. INTERVIEW WITH ERAP  Reporter:Ano po ba ang misis at mistress? Erap:Misis ang maybahay.Mistress ang may mansion. Reporter:Mr. Erap, accused ka daw for anti-labor? Erap:Sobra na sila!Ako pa ang anti-labor!? E, mga anak ko pinag-labor ng mga nanay nila! Reporter:Mr. Erap, sa ngayon what do you want to happen dito sa pilipinas? Erap:Alam mo, madami yan. Pero the #1 an gusto ko mangyari ay ......................................... mapalabas ulit yung Rosalinda. Reporter:Dumadami ang mga allegations laban sayo, any reactions? Erap:Walangya! Ipakulong ang mga allegators na yan sa zoo! Reporter:Any last words before ending the interview? Erap:Ofcourse! Thanks for the billions... este, billion thanks pala!    Update Date February 26, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.  
ERAP GOT DRUNK  Erap was at a black tie party along with Reli German who supplied him with a  constant flow of Blue Label. All the gentlemen came in black jackets, white  shirts and black ties and the ladies in black gowns.  Erap thought it was a boring party so he kept drinking his Blue Label to get  him through the night. Then he saw a lady in a white gown. "Reli, that's the  lady I like," Erap said. "She is a non-conformist and a rebel. I think I will  ask her to dance." "Madam, would you care to dance with the President of the  Republic?" Erap asked.  The lady replied, "No, and I will give you 3 reasons why. Reason No. 1, I don't  know how to dance." "That's a legitimate reason," Erap remarked.  "Reason No. 2, you are drunk," the lady continued. "That's your opinion," Erap said.  "Reason No. 3, I am Cardinal Sin." Sponsor   Update Date February 27, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
PARACHUTE  Nagka-engine trouble ang sinasakyang eroplano nina Erap at FVR kaya binigyan sila  ng tig-isang parachute para makatalon palabas.   Dahil sundalo at sanay si FVR sa ganito, pinauna niyang tumalon si Erap. Tumalon  si Erap at nagbukas agad ang kanyang parachute.   Sumunod si FVR, kaso, sira ang naibigay sa kanya at hindi iyon bumukas kaya bumulusok  siyang pababa.   Nakita ito ni Erap at sumigaw siya:   "Ah karera pala ang gusto mo, ha? Teka!" sabay alis ni Erap ng suot niyang parachute  para maunahan si FVR.     Update Date March 5, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.  ERAP'S NEW CAREER  ERAP, after his impeachment (because of his meddling into the SEC affairs) decided  to migrate to the USA. He comes to know that cattle farming is big business in US,  so he buys several cows, hoping to breed them for milk, cheese, beef, etc. After  several weeks, he notices that none of the cows are getting pregnant and calls the v et for help. The vet tells ERAP that he should try artificial insemination.   Knowing ERAP, (he has no idea what this AI means), not wanting to display his ignorance,  only asks the vet how will he know when the cows are pregnant. The vet tells him that  they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when  they are pregnant.   After giving it some thought (for few hours or days), he comes to the conclusion that  artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the cows. So, he loads the cows into  his truck, drives them out into the woods and being the STUD he is, has sex with them  all, brings them back and goes to bed.   Next morning, ERAP looks out at the cows and seeing that they are all still standing  around, he concludes that the first try didn't take effect, and loads them into the  truck again. He drives them out to the woods, has sex twice with each cow for good  measure, brings them back and goes to bed.   The following morning, ERAP cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the cows.  He asks LOI to look out and tell him if the cows are laying in the mud.   "No," LOI says, "they are all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn"    Update Date March 12, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
WRIST BAND  Why does Erap always where that wrist band of his?  So he can tell the diffrence between his right hand and left hand.  One day Erap was talking to a friend on his cellular about a up coming movie, when  all of a sudden he fell and broke his arm. He went to the hospital and the Dr. ask  how he broke his arm, Erap said he was talking to his frien on his cellular and  tripped on the phone cord.     Update Date March 15, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.  when Erap attended the last G-7 meeting as a guest,they were discussing   the future of robotics,when ask if it could help the Philippines,  he answered it is a problem because they keep kidnapping people.    Note: Abu Sayaf's leader is Commander Robot.  Update Date March 19, 2001  Submitted by Pepe. 
AKALA MO  naka duty si erap bilang traffic officer sa isang crossing ng ortigas!   habang nagbabantay sya, may isang lalaki na biglang dumapa at lumangoy   patawid ng kalye kaya ng makita ni erap sinigawan nya ito " hoy! bawal   yan " biglang bunot ng batuta ni erap at umupo sabay sagwan ng batuta nya.   "kala mo makakatakas ka ha "   Update Date March 26, 2001  Submitted by Pepe.